Lately I've been feeling very much like I'm treading water. A bit as though I'm putting forth effort, but just enough to stay afloat, since there is nothing to work towards at this point in my life. I have to wait for new opportunities to arise and new parts of my life to open themselves up for adventure as I finish my last year of high school. This feeling has resulted in a slight apathy that makes it difficult to be excited about life sometimes. I'm not depressed, I'm just bored.
It's harder to make myself work this year, and it's harder to see the benefits of a job-well-done when all the results are in already. I've been accepted to UGA. My fall semester grades are in, which drives my acceptance to the Honors Program, and really all I have to do from this point on is get by. Obviously I'll do better than that, but it's still difficult to find motivation for something that doesn't exist or affect you.
This lack of enthusiasm also saps my desire to be with friends sometimes, which really only worsens the situation. I have a tendency to be too lazy to coordinate social plans, avoiding the interactions that I unknowingly need most. My romantic relationship is also at a standstill, as he is at university, exploring the unknown, and I'm still at home, preparing for launch. It is clearly worth the wait, as we will be given countless opportunities for adventure when I get there, but the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel still appears very small.
I suppose, in summary, I'm ready for something new. Aidez-moi à tourner une nouvelle feuille.
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